I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
