is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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