No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
