I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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