We won't sleep together?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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