I've blown a few things in my day
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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