You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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