the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
