A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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