She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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