Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
