I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize