Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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