How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
