my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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