Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Nicole vs. Life
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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