and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
