I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
