If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
this hospital has no fireball
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize