plz talk dirty to me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
