You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
