So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
