Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
