I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
