I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
