Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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