I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
