im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
