I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
