Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
