I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize