So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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