four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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