you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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