So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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