Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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