Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize