Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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