2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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