Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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