Banned from zoo.
Again?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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