I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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