We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
BRING THE BAGELS
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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