So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
