But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
