I want to have your abortion
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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