I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
