Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
