Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
