I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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