She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
home. puking in laundry basket.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
