How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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