Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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