Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Randomize
