In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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