I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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