margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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