it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
