Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
