If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
