none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize