a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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