I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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