Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
